Another Day in Paradise
by nebbyJen
Summary: Sheppard and McKay each want to be left alone as they take separate 24 hour leaves, ending up in deep trouble together...with Beckett as an unwitting accomplice. Takes place after my story entitled Carousel.
1. Chapter 1: Enough is Enough

(This was originally going to be a humorous piece but it took off without me, and now I have to follow it typing madly to keep up. There are no spoilers that I know of , although there will be reference to my story **Carousel. **This is my second story ever posted, and again, I find myself now a year later going back over when time permits to do some tidying.)

Disclaimers: Atlantis is property of MGM, Gekko, and the Sci-fi Channel. No infringement intended or implied. Written for fun.

**Another Day in Paradise** by nebbyJen

Chapter 1: Enough is Enough

The 'whoosh' of the closing gate signaled the completion of another team returning safely to Atlantis. Dr. Weir stood observing from her office window while people below scurried about on the main floor. Sometimes Atlantis reminded her of an anthill with the never-ending activity.

Spying Lt. Ford watching her from beside the gate, she nodded. He was temporarily in command while Major Sheppard was off duty. The confident dark grin at her nod brought a smile to her own face. He was a good officer and under guidance and grooming of his superiors, one day he would make a great officer. The major had wisely chosen Ford as his second.

The chirp of the intercom panel on her desk brought her out of her musings as Dr. McKay's irritated voice filled her office. "Elizabeth, I'm sorry to bother you, again, but I'm still looking for Sheppard. You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"

She stared at her desk as she listened to Rodney page her for the fourth time in the past hour. "No. As I told you earlier, he requested some down time and stated that he didn't wish to be disturbed. He is to report back on duty at 1600 tomorrow afternoon."

"Elizabeth, I really need to have his assistance in the lab," the physicist argued. "I can't magically make these devices work like the Major, and if I have to interrupt his little vacation, then so be it."

"Rodney," she warned as his tone edged on insubordination, "as I stated to you earlier, he is unavailable. I do not know where he is. All I do know is that if I put out a station wide emergency call, he said he would respond immediately."

The line remained silent for close to an entire second before a full-blown rant began. "I can't believe this! God forbid, I should decide to take some time off only to find myself paged at every blessed time of day or night to fix one thing or another, but when the time comes that all I ask is for a bit of assistance, people are unavailable. Do you have any idea how badly I might like a vacation of sorts? Well, since Sheppard has decided to take a break, so have I. If you need me, don't bother looking for me. I, too, will be gone until 1600 tomorrow." And with that, the line abruptly went dead.

Slowly sinking back into her padded chair, Elizabeth sighed and reached for her laptop, pulling it closer. Opening up the latest page from Dr. Beckett, she reread his note of concern in regards to how tightly wound certain members of her staff had become and how he was seriously considering forced leaves for her two senior members. Hitting the reply bar, she typed a brief message letting the good doctor know that as of 1600 hours today both Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay were on a temporary 24-hour leave.

She couldn't decide whether or not to add a precaution for extra staffing in the medical facility until the two men returned. Not wanting to scare Carson into taking the next 24 hours off as well, she remained silent. What could those two possibly get into when neither one knew where the other was?

SG:A

Sheppard jogged quietly through the lower uninhabited corridors of Atlantis. The itch of too much pent up energy gnawed inside him, burning to be used. Initially, he requested Elizabeth to let him take a Jumper out for a 'survey' tour of the mainland but she turned him down, stating that they were not available for personal use. He understood, really he did. It was just that it had been so long since he'd heard the whine of rotors picking up speed before lifting off or feeling the g's of a carrier launch. God he missed flying. Picking up speed, he broke into a hard run, enjoying the wind against his face as he raced through an empty docking bay.

This was exactly what he needed; peace and quiet. No one pestering him with petty problems, or ATA genes, or military commands. Before O'Neill had gotten a hold of him, he had lived a life of obscurity. Now, one little helicopter trip over the Antarctic and his life was suddenly shot to hell. Never had he imagined that this assignment would have entailed him living in the middle of several nationalities, running out of food, and having an ugly creature worse than any Alien movie he'd ever seen, wanting to suck the very life out of him. What the hell had he been thinking?

Stopping abruptly, he dropped his pack to the floor and grabbed his knees as his chest heaved from the exertion of the run. He could feel his blood pounding as he sucked in lung fulls of cool air before straightening back up, grabbing his pack once more. Adjusting it over his shoulders, he continued on his journey. If he was correct, his destination should be just at the end of the next corridor.

SG:A

Rodney McKay angrily stuffed several items into his pack along with his favorite MRE's, a few candy and energy bars, and his smuggled issue of Popular Mechanix, before slinging it over his shoulder and barging down the hallway. He'd had it with everyone else's idiotic suggestions on how to do something before they eventually turned to him for the answer. What, did they think just because he was a genius, that he suddenly was all knowing and with the tap of a few keys on the keyboard, he could tell them all they needed to know. Get real. He was nothing more than a glorified babysitter with a PHD.

Spotting Carson standing in the middle of the corridor looking as though he was about to ask a question, Rodney quickly avoided him by ducking down a stairwell. He could hear the Scotsman calling out his name but he chose to ignore him. After all, he was on vacation.

He made his way silently through the lower levels, enjoying the silence as he munched on a piece of chocolate. Usually he hated to be alone and the mere fact that that was exactly what he wanted at the moment struck him as rather odd. What if something happened and no one ever found him? Feeling the old familiar twinge of panic, he stopped to look behind from which he had come.

"Don't be stupid," he grumbled to himself as he turned and continued on his way. He knew the schematics of this level by heart, and knew exactly where he was going for he'd been there many times before. His destination was just around the end of the next corridor.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2: Vacation, All I ever wanted

Chapter 2: Vacation, All I ever wanted…

Seagulls. That's what's missing, Sheppard thought to himself while he sat with his feet swaying in the warm water. Stripped down to only his shorts, he leaned back on his palms and basked in the late afternoon sun.

He'd found this spot quite by accident and for some reason didn't tell anyone. As near as he could figure, it was some sort of diving platform, although he had yet to find any gear. But then who knew what the Ancients did for recreation. He just needed a place to get away where he could be left alone. He liked being alone. He wanted to be alone.

Closing his eyes, he envisioned himself out on his grandfather's fishing boat. The memory of the smell of the sea, the gentle rocking of the vessel, and the cries of hungry gulls overhead brought a smile to his face. He'd never forget diving over the side when he was ten years old and almost drowning. The water had looked so inviting, so safe and deceptively warm. The instant his young body hit the water he knew he'd made a mistake, for the ocean was like ice and he'd cried out for help. The old fisherman actually dove over the side and rescued him; dragged his sorry butt on board and gave him the scolding of his life while never letting him go.

That wasn't the first or the last of many dumb stunts he'd pulled while growing up. He had craved adventure. Now he had all he could ever want and the only thing he could think of was going home.

With a grunt, he pulled himself up to his feet and gazed out over the water. The urge to jump in once again flooded his soul but this time he knew better. His grandfather, or anyone else for that matter, wasn't nearby to save him if he got in trouble this time.

Once back inside the safety of the shield, he unrolled his bedroll and stretched out on the floor. Facing the platform, he let the quiet lapping of water against the ship lull him to sleep.

SG:A

Pretzels, that's what he missed. And chocolate milk. Whenever he worked late on projects while growing up, he always made sure he had a healthy supply. Of course, he had to work odd jobs about the neighborhood to earn a few extra bucks to keep his hidden habit supplied. His parents never let him have junk food, saying sweets and indulging in unhealthy eating habits was what made people stupid. And by god, their Rodney was a genius, and they made sure to tell anyone and everyone they came in contact with that little fact. Of course, they knew nothing of their son and left him alone most of the time while they socialized and hobnobbed in the upper echelons of society. Apparently, alcohol didn't make people stupid.

Shoving that painful memory back, Rodney shook his head and stared at his latest project. He smiled, recognizing that he was almost finished while checking the worn magazine directions one final time. He'd stolen the issue from Kavanaugh one day when he went to the other scientist's lab, looking for his nemesis and finding the place deserted. But the article was there, laying open, waiting for him. Oh sure, the evil genius had named a sub after Rodney, but one missing magazine wouldn't destroy the beginning of a truce, would it?

He picked up a small container filled with liquid and made sure the lid was on tight. Then he grabbed the two remaining items and made his way back out to the empty hanger. That would be the perfect spot to try out his creation and there wasn't a soul around to bother him.

SG:A

A persistent buzzing whine abruptly filled the silence Sheppard had been enjoying, instantly bringing the major to his feet. "What now," he hissed, grabbing his gun and running towards the intrusive sound. Rounding the corner, he stopped dead, staring in utter disbelief at the sight before him. Rodney was standing in the middle of the empty hanger bay staring at the ceiling, watching a small airplane circle around the roof.

"McKay, what the hell are you doing?"

The buzzing noise coughed as the scientist's hands slipped, startled from Sheppard's yell, causing him to almost lose hold of the controls. The small plane banked and came to a shaky landing on the other side of the room.

Spinning on his heels, Rodney eyed the intruder with contempt. "Go away. I'm on vacation," he snapped before making his way over to his creation.

"McKay..." Sheppard started, only to be stopped by the scientist glaring at him. Following him, he looked over the other man's turned shoulder and eyed up the plane. "You build that?"

Rodney ignored him while he inspected the device for damage. Not seeing any, he picked it up and made his way back out of the hanger.

"McKay!" The major yelled, watching the other man blatantly disregard him as he disappeared around the corner. "Oh, crap." Looking back longingly in the direction of his comfortable spot along the water and then in the scientist's route, he kicked the floor and went in search of Rodney.

Making his way after the Canadian, he stopped outside of a room he was unfamiliar with and pressed the panel. The door slid smoothly open revealing the biggest mess he'd seen since arriving at Atlantis. Scattered pieces of machinery, empty MRE containers, and power bar wrappers littered every surface possible. Sitting in the middle of the disarray at a worktable totally engrossed in his project was the mad scientist himself.

John walked cautiously through the room, careful of where he stepped for he was still in his bare feet. He stopped beside a large item draped in a piece of tarp and slid the material back revealing a tire. His curiosity piqued, he pulled harder and uncovered a small go-cart type vehicle.

"McKay," he asked as he made his way over to the desk, "what is all of this? It looks like Santa's workshop in the middle of a dump."

Rodney's shoulders tightened as he continued ignoring the major.

"Look," John started, trying to get some response from his friend, "I'm not here to bug you; I just wanted to see what was making that noise."

"Well now you know, so leave. I've got 22 hours left before I have to report back and I want them alone."

Deciding that two could play the ignore game, Sheppard wandered through the room some more. Spying an odd shaped contraption set up carefully in the corner, he went over to investigate.

"Don't touch that," Rodney snapped, stopping the major.

"What is it?"

McKay sighed as he put down his plane and made his way over to where Sheppard was standing. "A fuel source."

Sheppard's face scrunched as he tried to figure out what McKay was talking about. "Fuel source?"

"Yes," the scientist retorted. "What do you think these run on?" he asked as he waved his hand around the room. "I don't exactly have a gas station to run to when the tank reads empty."

Dawning hit the major like a ton of bricks. "You made a still!"

"No, I made a viable source of energy that can be burned inside the small combustion engines of some of my… my inventions."

"Does the go-cart run on it?"

Rodney shrugged, not giving the major a definite answer. He just wanted the man to leave.

Sheppard wasn't about to be stopped. "Have you driven it?"

"Once or twice."

"And…?"

"The clutch sticks and I haven't been able to find what I need to fix it."

"You know, McKay, I've always been a bit of a car buff. Mind if I take a look?"

The scientist chewed on his upper lip as he eyed the major. He really wanted to be left alone, but on the other hand, maybe having someone else around wouldn't be such a bad thing. "What's with the Robinson Caruso outfit?"

John glanced down at himself. He'd forgotten that he was still only wearing shorts. "I was catching some rays."

"Out on the platform?"

"You know about that place?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I know this entire floor by heart."

"That's true." Changing the subject, he nodded back to the cart, "How fast does it go?"

A small grin crossed McKay's face, "Well, you see, I didn't build a speedometer but I have so say that it feels impressive."

John grinned. "What do you say I tinker on the clutch while you clear us a path out of here and we take her for a spin?"

"One condition."

"Name it, Friday."

"Get dressed, Caruso. I'm not some little space bunny who gets all googlie eyed at seeing you without your shirt on."

Sheppard laughed out loud, "Space bunny? Don't tell me you're jealous?"

Rodney shot him a withering gaze and pointed to the door. "Go, Robinson, before I change my mind." He could hear the major's laughter fade as he disappeared back down the hallway. Turning back to his mess, he shrugged; maybe his vacation wouldn't be so bad.

TBC

A/N The boys are about to have some fun.


	3. Chapter 3: I Get Around

Chapter 3: I Get Around

The two men worked in silence for close to 30 minutes, only speaking when John needed the scientist to find him a tool or part. He'd stripped the clutch assembly apart and discovered that one of the gears had a deep gouge in it causing the clutch to get stuck in mid shift.

Holding the piece up, he showed it to Rodney. "How'd that happen?"

McKay glanced over from his desk, scowling as he studied the piece. "Must have been when I crashed the first time."

"The first time? How many times have you crashed?"

"Only twice. That's when I decided to park it and work on something else until I could find what I needed to fix it."

"You end up visiting Beckett for every little thing. How did you survive crashing twice and I didn't hear about it?"

Rodney ignored him as he stood up and cleaned some of the litter off his desk.

Sheppard knew this man well and could recognize the scientist's avoidance tactics easily. "You did get hurt, didn't you? What, swear the good doctor to secrecy?"

"No. It was just a bump and he said as long as I didn't try to hide anything that he would find out about later… he wouldn't tell."

"Does he know what you have going on down here?"

"Not exactly."

Sheppard couldn't believe Rodney. This was like pulling teeth from the normally over talkative scientist. "What does that mean?" he asked in exasperation.

"Look, he's just happy that I have a hobby that doesn't entail blowing my self up." Rodney grinned as an impish delight shined in his eyes, "Actually the good doctor has helped me on a project or two."

"Carson was able to answer an engineering question?"

"No. I was tinkering upstairs with some ball bearings and he suggested using petroleum jelly for grease." Rodney shrugged, "Crude but effective."

Standing up to stretch his back, Sheppard surveyed the room. "There's a lot of stuff in here. How long have you been doing this?"

Rodney was sifting through a pile of parts before he held up another gear in triumph. "A few months." Seeing that the major wanted more, he sat back down on his stool and placed his hands on his knees. "Sgt. Stackhouse came to me one day, asking me what he should do with a MALP that had broken down. The thing was riddled with holes from gunfire and was just a pile of junk. I told him to send it off to salvage. After he left, I got to thinking and decided to see what else might be down there."

"And you started your little operation," Sheppard finished.

"Why not? It isn't like there's a television or library nearby."

Sheppard walked over to the work desk and flipped the open magazine over. Spying Kavanaugh's name on the address box, he raised a brow to Rodney.

"I borrowed it. It's not like he was going to do anything other than look at the pretty pictures anyway."

The major busted out laughing, "You really don't like the guy, do you?"

"He's an ass. As intelligent as he thinks he might be, what's he doing subscribing to this? This is for old men sitting in recliners."

"And, you have it because…?"

Rodney sighed as he picked up the piece of literature, "It was like finding an old puzzle that needed completed. I didn't have anything else to do and the plane looked interesting."

John plucked the magazine out of McKay's hands and picked up the gear. "What do you say we put the cart back together and blow this place?"

Twenty minutes later they had the clutch reassembled and pushed the cart out the door towards the hanger bay.

"So, you got enough 'gas' to run this thing for a while?" Sheppard asked with a smirk.

"Now, Major, what are you implying?" McKay looked up innocently from filling the small tank on the back.

"Nothing, Doctor. I just wondered if there might be any left over for later."

"Uh-huh." Rodney made his way to sit down on the small seat only to be pushed off by Sheppard.

"Me first."

"I don't think so, major. I built it, I ride it first."

"No, I fixed it. I need to make sure it runs okay."

"Oh please, if that isn't the lamest thing I've heard today. "

"Rock, Paper, Scissors."

"What?"

"You heard me. Whoever wins, goes first."

Rodney huffed. "Fine."

Both men made a fist, shaking them three times before they stopped with McKay's staying in a tight fist and Sheppard's with his thumb sticking up.

"I win," the major gloated.

"Says who? What's that supposed to be?"

"Dynamite. It blows up rock. You lose, now get off."

Rodney's look of contempt returned as he made his way to the back of the vehicle. Watching Sheppard settle himself in the seat, he grabbed the cord and pulled, turning over the small engine. The motor coughed and died.

"Try it again," Sheppard directed as he adjusted the choke and pumped the gas. He could feel McKay shooting daggers at the back of his head and dare not turn around.

The second pull was successful as the engine caught and John put the vehicle in gear while slipping the clutch. Giving it a little gas, he felt the tires grip as he pulled away. At first, he was a bit hesitant; testing the cart, but seeing Rodney standing there rolling his eyes, he gunned it and let it rip. Soon he was circling the hanger as fast as he could, nearly colliding with Rodney at one point.

Bringing the cart to a halt, he grinned, "McKay, you've made my day. I forgot how much fun it was to drive."

The scientist returned the grin. "So, driving in circles is all you do for fun?"

"What else do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking…"

"That's dangerous," John interrupted.

"Shut up! What if we made it a bit more exciting?"

"What do you have in mind, McKay?"

Rodney grinned as he made his way back to his lab. "I'll be back in a bit. You keep driving in circles until I return."

Moments later, he returned with several large empty containers and a sheet of stiff metal. Placing the items strategically throughout the bay, he created an obstacle course. "Fastest time through the course gets to design the next one."

It wasn't long before more and more of McKay's lab appeared out on the floor as the course increased in difficulty. Soon they had even created a small ramp.

SG:A

It was several hours before the guys finally tired of their new toy. Sitting in the middle of the enormous mess they had created, the surveyed their surroundings.

Rodney was the first to break the silence. "Beckett should be proud."

"Why's that?" John asked.

Holding out his hands, the scientist turned them back and forth. "Not a bump or scratch to be seen."

Sheppard smacked Rodney's hands down. "Don't say that. Geesh, now we're bound to have something happen."

Rodney eyed the major before standing, "I'm hungry. Did you bring anything good down here?"

"MRE's. How about you?"

The scientist sighed. What he'd give for a cheeseburger right about now. "The same."

The major nodded, "What do you say we go out to the platform and watch the sunset while we eat? Take a break from all of this."

Glancing back to his makeshift lab, he mentally tried to remember where he'd put his pack. "Okay, I'll meet you over there."

Sheppard climbed back on to the cart and revved the motor. With a quick grin cast over his shoulder, he buzzed the room before driving down the hallway. "Don't be late, my little space bunny," he called out before he was gone.

"You are so not funny," Rodney yelled back, his retort drowned out by the engine.

A swift search revealed his pack before he made his way over to the platform. Hearing the sound of the cart coming up the hallway from behind him he quickly stepped out of the way. He was surprised to see that the major wasn't slowing down as he neared the shield. "Stop," he yelled but quickly realized from the look on Sheppard's face that the brake mechanism wasn't working.

Dropping his pack, he raced after the cart and watched in horror as it drove off the edge of Atlantis. "Major!" he yelled, scanning the shadowy water for his friend.

Within seconds, the dark head broke the surface, spluttering from the cold water.

Rodney leaned as far over the side as he could without falling in. "Give me your hand," he ordered.

Sheppard splashed a few times before catching Rodney's grip. Relief flooded him as the scientist pulled his soaking freezing body back on the ship. "Thanks," he whispered, while trying to stop his teeth from chattering.

"Don't mention it," Rodney replied, looking back out over the water.

John followed his gaze, "What's wrong?"

The scientist was chewing his lip. "Do you think we should go get it?"

Both men silently studied the water.

"Well, we wouldn't want Weir to find it," Sheppard finally said.

"That's what I was thinking." Rodney turned to his dripping friend, "Are you up for going on a little ride?"

Sheppard couldn't believe McKay was suggesting what he was suggesting. "Oh, yeah. Let me get changed and we can go."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4: We All live in a Yellow Subma...

A/N Sorry I'm a bit late on posting this chapter. Between shoveling all the snow, work, and getting ready for Christmas, this story has been very uncooperative and didn't want to get written. Thanks for all of the great reviews; they help to keep me typing. (Yes, I Get Around, is from the Beach Boys. Rather appropriate, don't you think?)

Chapter 4: We All Live in a Yellow Submarine

Sheppard had changed quickly into a dry uniform before joining Rodney in having an MRE for dinner. Making quick work of their prepackaged dinners, they were both anxious to get down to the submersible chamber and ready the 'McKay' for their little trip. Neither man had been out on the small craft since their second voyage; after the scientist's release from the infirmary. Now they were ready to be taking it out once again,

Walking quietly down the hallway, the major could feel Rodney's gaze staring at him and he soon found the scientists continued silence unnerving. Finally having enough, he stopped and turned around. "What?"

Rodney came to an abrupt halt and looked puzzled by Sheppard's question. "What, what?"

"You know what. Ever since you pulled me out of the drink, you've been awfully quiet. I want to know what's up." John studied his friend's face, trying to read the man, before continuing, "Are you having second thoughts about going?"

"No." A bit of the familiar whine was in McKay's tone.

Sheppard waited for Rodney to expound and when that didn't happen, he reached out and poked the other man in the chest. "Hello, anyone home in there? For crying out loud, talk to me, McKay, or we're scrapping this right now."

A total shift in attitude enveloped the scientist as he suddenly glared back at the major. "Well, let's see. I spent a good portion of my day trying to make objects work that wouldn't cooperate because my genetically engineered gene wasn't compatible. When I wasn't able to get any help from other sections of Atlantis, I decided to take a short leave and try to make myself forget about all of this for just a few moments. Next thing I know, you and I are acting like a couple of teens with their first car and then you drove off Atlantis. When I saw you disappear, I thought…" Rodney stopped and stared at the floor.

"You thought what?" Sheppard prompted.

McKay grimaced before meeting the other man's gaze. "I thought you died because of me."

"What are you talking about? I didn't die. The brakes gave out because we were a bit rough on the cart earlier while making up the obstacle course. I knew if I couldn't stop, that I'd just swim back to the platform." John could see Rodney putting up walls, getting ready to argue. Something was bothering the scientist and he was damned if he wasn't going to find out what. "It wasn't your fault."

"Really?" The scientist sneered. He knew he was becoming irrational but he couldn't stop himself. "I knew the cart was unsafe. That's why I had it covered up. What the heck was I thinking, letting you talk me in to taking it out? Why did you even come to my workroom? Weir told me you wanted to be left alone."

All the tension from earlier in the day suddenly flooded both men as they stood eyeing one another. When the major didn't answer Rodney's question quickly, he took it as a sign that he was right and spun about to leave, only to be stopped when John grabbed his arm and twisted him back around.

"Enough," Sheppard snarled. "I'm tired of dealing with your moods and petty problems. If you have something to say, spit it out."

"I wanted to be left alone, that's all; just a few moments to myself without anyone asking me questions."

"Well, how do you think I feel, McKay? People are constantly asking me to try and activate this or take care of that. I would like to disappear also, but I can't. And unfortunately, neither can you."

Rodney felt some of his anger deflate, realizing that he was one of the one's continually bugging the major. Shifting to lean against the wall, he crossed his arms and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "There's just so much we don't know."

"And everyone expects you to have the answers," John added, knowing he was guilty of expecting too much.

McKay sighed and nodded before looking back at the major. "You, too."

Sheppard nodded as he crossed his arms and leaned against the opposite wall. "In other words, we both need a vacation."

A small smile flittered at the corners of Rodney's mouth as he shrugged. "Maybe a little underwater voyage would help us relax?"

The dark haired major's cocky grin lit up his face. "That's what I was thinking, but only if you want to." Seeing a contemplative and then devious glint in the scientist's eyes, he knew the trip was back on and grabbed McKay's arm, pulling him away from the wall. "Let's go before they start looking for us."

The surprises of how cold Sheppard's hand was on his arm made Rodney pull away. "You're hands like ice." Before the other man could stop him, he reached out and touched the major's forehead with the back of his hand. "You feel alright?"

John swatted McKay away. "Yes, just got a little cold from my dip earlier. I'll be fine."

As much as he hated the thought, Rodney realized they might have to forgo their plans. "Maybe we should go see Beckett."

"You go if you want; I'm going to find the go cart."

"Oh, like you can even get the doors to the bay open without me."

"Speaking of which, how are we gonna get them open without command noticing?"

"Oh ye of little faith." Hitting the panel to open the hall doors, he led the way in to the dark chamber. "Turn on the lights."

Sheppard had just reached the panel when he heard a thump followed by 'What idiot put that there?' Activating the panel, the room flooded with light and he spotted McKay sitting on the floor beside a piece of equipment. "What happened?" he asked, although he already could guess. "Get a boo-boo?"

Rodney ignored him as he stood up and rubbed his knee. Making his way over to the control console, he began typing intently. Within a minute, his self-satisfied grin appeared as punched one last button. The hanger doors slid smoothly open, revealing the dark water. Standing back, he gazed in boredom at the major, "I've done my part, now it's your turn."

"I thought you'd never ask," Sheppard said as he stepped into the 'McKay'.

Rodney stomped across the bay. "Well, wait for me," he huffed. Making it just to the side of the vessel, he heard the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat behind him. To quote the major, 'Oh, crap.' Taking a deep breath, he turned around and discovered Beckett standing in the doorway.

"Goin' somewhere?" The Scottish doctor crossed his arms as he eyed up Rodney. It was all to clear the man knew something was a foot.

"Uh…" The scientist stuttered, momentarily lost for words.

"McKay," John called from inside the small ship, "get in here before someone comes down."

"Too late," he called back over his shoulder.

A second later, Sheppard's head poked back out the doorway and he spotted Carson. "Oh, crap."

"Gentlemen, you appear to be goin' on a journey." Beckett knew he had just caught the two men red handed.

Rodney opened his mouth to reply but then turned to John and scrunched his face, indicating that maybe he should try to appease the physician. The major in return, glared at the scientist.

"We wanted to check some of the lower hull areas."

"Mm-hm," Carson replied, seeing clear through the lie. "I was under the impression you both were on 24 hour leave. The hull can wait, can't it?"

Rodney reached up and scratched his ear, "Well, technically we are, but something came up."

"Actually, more like down," John said with a shrug, while leaning against the ship beside Rodney.

Beckett made his way towards the men, enjoying watching them begin to squirm. "I saw the mess in the old hanger bay. You two have been busy." Turning his focus on the scientist, he stopped directly in front of him. "I thought you put your cart away after your last accident."

"We fixed it," both men said simultaneously.

"I figured as much, lads. So, where is it now?"

John and Rodney glanced at each other before they both turned and looked at the shimmering water held back by the shield.

Carson followed their gaze before looking back at them in disbelief, "I don't want to know, now, do I?"

"Well, the brake failed…"

"And John couldn't stop…"

"And I didn't want to crash…"

"And he drove off Atlantis."

The doctor's critical eye scanned the major before he seemed satisfied that the man hadn't been hurt. "So, you need the sub to do what?"

"That's a no brainer," Rodney snapped in disgust.

"To get the cart," John finished with shrug, as if they did this all the time.

"Oh, good lord heavens, no." Carson held his hand up, "You two are in need of some down time, not another adventure."

"Come on, Doc, lighten up. We just want to go get it before Elizabeth discovers it resting on the bottom."

"On one condition."

"Please," Rodney huffed, "what's with this condition stuff?"

"McKay," Sheppard hissed.

Rodney turned away from the doctor to face Sheppard. "He's always coming up with conditions for everything. You know we're adults, specialists in our field. Why do we always have to put up with his conditions?"

"Because if we don't, he goes and finds Weir. Do you want her down here?"

"No." Rodney made his way inside the small sub.

"Well, then, deal with it." John turned back to face Carson, surprised to see a grin on the physician's face. "You're coming with us, Doc."

"That's all I was gonna suggest," Beckett replied as he followed Rodney on board. When John's hand brushed his arm, he was startled at how cold the major was. "Somethin' wrong?"

"Long story. We'll tell you on the way." Sheppard sealed the door and activated the controls on the small ship, guiding it back out into the dark water.

TBC

A/N So, you having fun, yet? Let me know!

Merry Christmas! Stay safe! See you soon! Jen


	5. Chapter 5: This is the Great Adventure

A/N Neither the flu nor crashing computers can stop this story from continuing… so help me! (They say things happen in three's… I wonder what's next?) Thank you for your patience.

Chapter 5: This is the Great Adventure

Carson Beckett remained silent as McKay and Sheppard finished their tale of how they'd spent the evening so far. Why wasn't he surprised about the major taking a plunge off the side of Atlantis? If it were anyone else, he would have gone directly to Dr. Weir and had them finish their leave in their quarters. But not these two, for it amazed him how adventure seemed to rekindle their waning tolerance for their current situation and for each other.

Studying Sheppard closely, he didn't recognize any signs of hypothermia but he needed to check anyways. Placing the back of his hand on the major's brow before the man had the chance to protest, he left it there a moment. "You're not running a temperature. How long did ya say you were in the water?"

"Just a few seconds." Grinning, John turned to his copilot, "McKay pulled me out pretty quick."

Carson glanced back over to Rodney who was staring straight ahead out into the dark water, "Was it a few seconds, or longer?"

The physicist chewed his lower lip, ignoring the doctor.

Sensing hesitation, Carson leaned around the seat, blocking Rodney's view. "How long?"

Rodney cast Sheppard a quick look before meeting Carson's gaze and then shifting to see back out the window. "Minute tops."

The doctor took a deep breath, waiting for the desire to cuff the two men on the back of the head to pass. "Did ya think about possibly coming to see me and make sure you were alright?"

"Doc, it's not like this is the first time I ever fell off a boat. I was out on the platform earlier and the water wasn't that cold."

Carson merely raised a brow. "I happen to know the water temperature along Atlantis is considerably warmer than that away from the shield."

Intrigued, Rodney turned to Beckett, "How do you know that?"

"Let's just say, the Major isn't the first person to fall in."

"Really?" John grinned, "Who was it?"

"Doctor/patient confidentiality."

Sheppard studied the doctor a moment, trying to figure out who had fallen off, before he met McKay's mischievous smirk. He knew the scientist wouldn't let him down.

Carson apparently didn't miss the smirk either and pinched the back of Rodney's neck, "Don't ya even be thinkin' about it. My records are off limits to you."

"What? I didn't do a thing. " Before he had the chance to continue, the major pitched the small sub to the right. "What, what happened?"

John was intently staring straight out the window, "Did you see it?"

"See what?" Carson and Rodney replied at the same time.

"Something really big swam in front of us."

Rodney leaned closer to the window and tried to see through the inky darkness. Not spotting anything, he flipped on the outer light. "How big? I need more of a relative size of comparison, Major. Would you say goldfish, shark, or whale?"

Sheppard leaned forward in his seat, adjusting one of the view screen overlays to see if it might identify sea life. "I'm thinking at least a shark."

"Oh, that's nice. Our quick little recovery trip is turning into a Jacque Cousteau sightseeing excursion." Nervously scanning the water, he squinted trying to make out possible shapes. "I never really considered what may live in the waters around Atlantis. Has anyone studied the aquatic life to know just how big something may be down here?"

"Chill out, McKay. The shield will keep any unwanted attention from disturbing the ship."

That little statement didn't appease the agitated scientist in the least. "What if there's something big enough to swallow the ship down here?"

Sheppard frowned, then shrugged, "Well, hey, Jonah survived three days in the belly of whale."

"Leviathan," Carson corrected as he maintained a death grip on the back of the seats.

"Leviathan. Whale. What does it matter? Big enough to swallow the sub is what concerns me." Rodney pulled a power bar from his pocket and tore the wrapper off, shoving half of it in his mouth in one bite.

John continued flipping through screens, finally stopping at one with that had a small item located on the bottom. "There's the cart. All we got to do is go and get it and head back."

"While avoiding Shamu's super-sized cousin," McKay sputtered with his mouth full.

Carson had worked his way to standing between the two seats, watching intently for any more signs of sea life. When a mysterious form swam into view and blinked a large dark eye, the doctor tumbled backwards, landing on his butt in surprise. "What the bloody hell was that?"

Rodney glared at Sheppard,"Super-sized cousin."

The majorignored both men as he guided the craft down the slope of what appeared to be a small reef. The outer light illuminated the surrounding water and they were able to see several species of small fish dart back and forth through the coral type structure. An occasional larger fish would swim by to swallow one of the colorful smaller ones.

Bringing the sub to a halt, he turned the light to shine on the sunken go-cart, and all three men gasped. There draped over the small vehicle was a creature similar to an octopus, only with many more legs.

Rodney drummed his fingers nervously on his closed laptop, looking at the spooky creature. "Okay, Cousteau, how do you plan on getting that thing off?"

Sheppard looked over to Carson to see if he had any ideas, but from the blank look on the doctor's face, he knew he would have to come up with something on his own. "Could we rig a small charge to emanate off the shield and maybe give the thing a jolt?"

"That could work." Rodney flipped the screen up on his computer and began typing rapidly. "Of course we have no idea what a jolt might do to that thing or any of the other creatures around."

"Just do it, McKay!" Sheppard snapped.

Rodney eyed the major with a brief look of contempt. "Look, I wasn't the one who pulled a Bo Duke off of Atlantis, so there's no reason to yell at me."

"I'm not yelling. Can you do it or not?"

Rodney snorted, "Of course I can. How strong do you want it?"

"I don't know. Just enough to make it go away."

A few more taps on the keyboard and the scientist nodded. "Here goes nothing." Hitting one final key, the lights inside the sub dimmed briefly before returning to normal. What took place outside was an entirely different matter.

The creature draped over the cart turned out to be two creatures and they both swiftly disentangled themselves. With appendages sweeping through the water, they emitted a dark murky substance that blocked the view screen window.

"Uh-oh," Sheppard mumbled, bracing himself for whatever else may happen.

However, nothing did. The current of the water slowly cleared away the ink to reveal the cart sitting alone.

"Yes! You did it McKay."

"As if there was ever any doubt,"he replied, snapping the laptop shut.

Carson was leaning over their shoulders again, eyeing up the craft. "So, how do we get it on board?"

John grinned, "Easy. We pull up next to it, extend the shield, and pull it inside."

The Scottish doctor had his doubts, "You're gonna open the cargo door and pull the thing in?"

Rodney stood up andwalked back to the cargo area, making sure everything was put away before they started. "Well, it's not like we can hook up a chain and tow it back."

"Good one, McKay."

"Thank you. I've been known to have my moments."

Carson shook his head, "If you two are finished, I'm being serious here. Have you both thought this through?"

John joined Rodney in the back. "What do you think? The shield will hold the water back while I push the cart in. You keep a grip of the internal shield controls just in case something goes wrong."

"We shouldn't have any problems." Rodney stepped back to the front section of the sub, activating the internal shield separating the cargo bay from the control area. "I'm ready when you are."

"Okay then." Hitting the panel beside the back hatch, Sheppard stood back and watched as the door smoothly slid open revealing the deep ocean depths. Light spilling out from the McKay, as well as the outdoor spots, lit up the area beautifully. "Oh, this is so cool."

He steppedcautiously out onto the soft sandy bottom, subconsciously holding his breath as he reached the small cart and pushed it inside the ship. Shooting a glance up at the others on the other side of the shield, he grinned, "Piece of cake."

Rodney and Beckettretruned the infectious grin, happy to see their mission almost completed. And that's when everything went wrong.

The McKay suddenly lurched as the sandy ground beneath it shifted, tossing all three men to the floor. The shield momentarily flickered and then stabilized but not before a large amount of seawater flooded the closing cargo bay. The door snapped shut before the water was released, pinning Sheppard inside the frigid compartment.

"Hold on, Major," Rodney called as he began furiously punching in keys to drain the seawater out. He could see his friend fighting to keep his balance and maintain his head above the water.

Another lurching shift sent all three men to the floor again. This time Sheppard slipped below the surface and gasped as the cart moved sharply, pressing against his side pinning him to the floor. Coughing, he tried to continue holding his breath in the numbing cold water. He could see Rodney and Beckett trying desperately to reach him. He tried to give them an encouraging wave, but failed to get his arm free.

"Damnit, Rodney, hurry it up! He's drowning!" Carson cried in horror, watching their friend struggle.

"I almost got it. Just one more second." Suddenly the water was sucked out of the bay, leaving a limp John Sheppard lying pinned on the floor.

TBC

A/N Oh yeah, the evil cliffhanger is back! I'm feeling better already!


	6. Chapter 6: Momma Said There Would be Day...

Chapter 6: Momma Said There Would be Days like This

John lay shivering so hard his teeth rattled. He couldn't remember ever being so cold. When the water was sucked out of the room he lay gasping like a fish trying to catch his breath before he was finally able to move his arms and push the small cart away from his side. Vaguely hearing Rodney and Carson calling to him, he rolled his head over in their direction, casting a brief smile before closing his eyes.

"Hurry, Rodney. I need to get in there, lad," Carson encouraged, pressing against the shield.

Biting back a retort, the scientist continued tapping in frustration for close to three minutes before dropping his laptop to the floor and pulling out his pocket knife. Popping a small panel off the wall beside the door frame he pulled out two wires and cut them before he hesitantly twisted them together, sending off a sharp flash and small shower of sparks. The indoor shield flickered and then was gone.

The physician was instantly at Sheppard's side while Rodney attempted to secure the cart from sliding back into the Major. Once he was finished, he stripped off his jacket and handed it to Carson. "How is he?"

Carson finished running his hands over the major's chest and arms from where he had been pinned. "Nothin' feels broken." Patting Sheppard's cheeks, he tried to get the shivering man's attention. "Come on now, Major, time to open your eyes." Not getting any response, the physician turned to Rodney. "Help me get him out of these wet clothes. We need to get him warm and dry."

Together they removed the soaked uniform and used their dry jackets to rub some warmth into the major.

Carson glanced up to Rodney, before looking around the sub, "Is there any type of emergency kit in here?"

McKay covered Sheppard with his jacket before standing up, "I'm not sure what or even if they've stocked it yet. Give me a minute." Pulling open hatches, he located sealed emergency blankets and ripped several open, draping them over his friend. Turning to open another hatch, he lost his balance and fell when the small sub violently lurched again. Hearing Beckett's startled cry from behind him, he turned quickly to find the physician tipped sideways against the rear hatch with Sheppard cradled in his arms. "Are you all right?"

The physician's eyes were huge when he nodded. "What was that?"

"I don't know but I'm going to find out." Making his way to the front, Rodney carefully settled into the command seat and reached for the controls. Praying his genetically manufactured ATA gene would activate the sensors, he breathed a sigh of relief when schematics began flashing in front of him on the view screen.

Bringing the exterior lights back online, he peered outside but was unable to make out much do to the sediment being stirred up from whatever was shaking the ship. "We are so screwed," he mumbled under his breath, returning his attention to the schematics.

It was when the screens abruptly stopped, displaying several life forms outside of the ship, that Rodney felt his first real twinge of panic constrict his chest. Whatever was out there was huge. Studying the forms closer, he jumped when the display shifted, revealing the shape of a large octopus type creature along with all pertinent information. Quickly scanning through the data, he realized they were in serous trouble.

"Rodney," Beckett called from the back.

Gripping the wall, he carefully made his way back through the now tipped sideways sub, coming to a stop beside his friends. "How's he doing?"

Carson sighed as he held the limp Major in his arms. "Not to well. I'm pretty sure his initial exposure to the cold along with being trapped briefly underwater this time has his system knocked out of kilter. He's hypothermic, his body core needs to get warm and that's why he's shivering so hard. We need to get him back to Atlantis now."

Rodney ran his hands over his short hair, "That might be a problem."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"The octopus thingies that we zapped so that we could get the cart; turns out they are juveniles."

Beckett's jaw dropped as comprehension filled his face. "We landed on the beastie's momma didn't we?"

Rodney nodded. "And she isn't very happy. Remember how the smaller ones liked the cart?" Not waiting for a reply, he continued, "Well, it appears that she has taken a fancy to the sub."

"Ah, good lord." Clearly disgusted and full of worry, the doctor shook his head. "Can't the two of you ever do somethin' that's simple? Next time I am confining you to quarters."

A glimpse of a smirk passed over McKay's features before he sighed heavily, "I do have some good news."

Carson eyed him warily, "What's that?"

"The shield is still holding. No matter how upset Momma might get, she can't hurt the ship."

"No, but she can shake us like loose beans in a can, can't she?" Beckett stopped himself from saying anything else when he realized that Rodney was actually trying to be optimistic. "So, what do we do now?"

"I need to repair the ship and conserve our energy. I was thinking that we might move the Major to the front and reactivate the shield so that we only maintained life support in the forward section. That way, we could also keep the smaller area warmer."

"Why do you need to repair the ship? I thought you just said she couldn't hurt us."

Sighing again, Rodney shifted to sit beside his friends. "When I cut the power to the shield, I short circuited a few systems. We aren't going anywhere until I can get them up and running again."

Glancing worriedly down at Sheppard's bundled figure, Carson scowled, "How long do you think it's gonna take?"

McKay shook his head, "I don't know."

SG:A

The two men awkwardly carried the major to the front section, settling him carefully on the floor. Sheppard's condition hadn't changed. He remained unconscious and the few brief moments when awareness seemed to surface, he only stared listlessly at them.

Watching Carson take up the position once again of holding the weakened man, Rodney suddenly felt very ineffectual. Rising quickly to his feet, he made his way back to the cargo section and salvaged any items they might need before he turned the internal shield back on. Once reactivated, they wouldn't be able to reenter without shorting out more systems. The saltwater flooding the compartment must have damaged some system he wasn't aware of.

It was when he had to step around the small cart that an idea struck him. "What about alcohol?" he called out.

"What's that?" Beckett replied.

Rodney poked his head up front. "Alcohol. The fuel in the cart is alcohol. I doubt it got diluted. Can we give some to the major to warm him up?"

Carson shook his head, "No, lad, you don't give that to someone who is hypothermic."

"Why not? Isn't Hot Toddies the thing when people get cold?"

"That's an old, misinformed wives tale. Actually it would have the reverse effect."

"Oh. Well, it was just an idea." Rodney returned to the small cargo bay for one last check. There was nothing left that he could use. Cautiously unwinding the wires he'd rigged earlier, he returned them to their original positions before making his way to the control seat. Hooking in his laptop he got to work.

It didn't take him long to get the shield functioning once again and soon he had the small forward area quite toasty. Easing around in his seat, he checked on Beckett and Sheppard, surprised to discover that the physician had fallen asleep with the major propped against his chest, also asleep.

With a quick glance to his watch, he noticed that he still had a little over twelve hours left on his leave. Hopefully, somewhere in that time, he also would be able to rest. Pulling out a power bar, he unwrapped it, took a healthy bite, and got back to work.

TBC

A/N Better?


	7. Chapter 7: I Need a Hero

Chapter 7: I Need a Hero

He was hot, and uncomfortable, and something heavy was pressed against him. Blinking hard, he took in his surroundings and was startled to see a pair of slacks and a shirt hanging off the back of the seats in front of him. With a quick glance towards himself to see if that was his clothes, he recognized the bundled figure in his arms and the entire events of what happened came rushing back. "Oh, it wasn't a bloody dream." Shifting so that he could lay Sheppard's sleeping form carefully on the floor, Carson rolled up Rodney's jacket and placed it as a pillow beneath the major's head.

"McKay?" he called quietly, not seeing the scientist anywhere in the small vessel.

"Here," came the muffled reply and Carson bent over the front seat only to see Rodney scrunched into a tight ball on his back, half hidden by the console he was working under. Taking in several empty power bar wrappers and a half finished bottle of water, it was clear the scientist had been working for quite some time.

"Why didn't you wake me, lad? I could've helped you."

Rodney shifted, stretching one leg and then the other, before tucking himself even farther inside the console. "I'm almost finished," the scientist mumbled distractedly before a muffled curse and the sound of something snapping emanated from the enclosed space.

"Rodney?"

"Hand me the small blue crystal that's on the copilot seat," came the curt reply.

Carson glanced down to the seat and was thankful there was only one blue crystal in the small pile. He carefully passed it over, hesitating only a moment when he spied several scratches and dried blood on Rodney's hand. "What happened?"

The noise under the console stopped and McKay poked his head out, curiously eyeing up the doctor. "What do you mean, what happened?"

"Your hand, McKay. What happened to it?"

"Oh." Rodney disappeared back underneath the console, "I had to change a splintered crystal." There was a click and then several panels lit up on the guidance systems. Clambering back out, he sat on his knees and adjusted one panel before looking up at Beckett. "I've been able to hot wire, so to speak, the main systems to give us enough energy to make it back to Atlantis."

Carson looked confused, "I don't understand. How did things get so bad? I thought you only cut two wires to make the shield go down."

Rodney gazed at the back panel a moment, before pulling himself up to look over the seat and check on the Major. "That caused a pretty powerful surge, inadvertently cracking some of the crystals. You must remember, these are thousands of years old and some are extremely fragile. Too strong of a current pops them like an overloaded filament in a light bulb."

Carefully picking up the remaining crystals, the doctor sat in the copilot seat, eying up the scientist. Rodney looked tired and his shirt was wet with sweat from the overly heated compartment. "So, we're all set to go?"

Taking the opposite seat, McKay held out his hand and took the delicate items from Beckett. "I've repaired the ship, if that's what you are asking. But we still have a problem."

"Now, what?" Sheppard's quiet gravelly voice asked from behind the seats.

The two men jumped up from their seats and stepped back beside the major, surprised to see their friend's eyes open.

"How are you feelin', lad?" Carson asked as he kicked back into doctor mode, checking John's temp and pulse.

"Like a ton of bricks fell on me." He closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Carson's hand on his forehead. "What happened?"

"The shields failed for a moment and flooded the cargo area. By the time Rodney was able to get them back down, you had already had too long of an exposure to the cold water." Carson didn't miss the look of discomfort from the major. "Headache?"

"Yeah."

"I wish I had somethin' to give you," the doctor began to say but stopped when Rodney handed him a small first aid kit. "When did you find this?"

"When I was looking for the replacement crystals. Some idiot tucked it in the toolbox."

While Carson rummaged through their meager supplies, John gazed up at the bedraggled scientist. "You look like hell, McKay."

"Thank you. I haven't slept in over twenty hours, spending the last few fixing the sub while you two slept." Rodney stood up and began to pace, talking with his hands flying. "Do you have any idea what it's like trying to put this thing back together while laying on your back in this sauna?"

The major's attention briefly turned back to Carson as he accepted the held out painkillers. When he tipped the water bottle, he realized something looked wrong, and turned the bottle slowly from one side and then to the other. "We're not level."

Rodney stopped pacing, shooting Sheppard an annoyed look. "That's what I've been trying to tell both of you. Take a look out front." Seeing the Major shift to get up, McKay snapped, "Not you. Carson."

Beckett tipped his head and raised his brow before doing what Rodney suggested. Making his way over to the view screen, he glanced out into the murky depths only to see darkness. "Are the lights on?" he asked, silently praying the answer was 'no'. Seeing McKay nod, he took a deep breath. "What's wrong now?"

Rodney stepped over to the controls, changing the overlay view screens, and stopping at one that showed a dot covered by a large mass. "As near as I can figure, Momma's laying on the ship. Or, maybe around it. Or, I don't know, but she's what's tipping us."

While the two doctors were busy looking out the window, Sheppard had slowly pulled himself to his feet and made his way beside them. Blankets wrapped tightly about, he sank into one of the seats. "Can we zap her like we did to the smaller ones?"

"I don't think that would be a wise idea. We have no idea what she is capable of and if we only angered her, shemight try toslap us like a puck across the sea floor."

Silence filled the small cabin as each man mentally pictured the possibilities.

Carson was first to break the stillness, "So, what do we do?"

Seeing McKay shrug, Sheppard knew they were in trouble. "Give me my pants," he ordered Beckett. "I think better when I'm dressed." Once back in his uniform, he wearily reached out and touched the controls, skimming through various screens. McKay was right, they didn't have a lot of options at the moment. "Did you try changing the shield frequencies?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Of course. I tried all possible combinations."

"What if we gave her back the cart?" Carson suggested.

"I already thought of that, also." Chewing on his lip, Rodney made his way back to the internal shield and looked at his small vehicle. "What does it have that would make her release us and keep that?"

Again silence filled the compartment until Sheppard came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea. "The fuel tank."

Rodney spun around and faced the Major, a look of utter disbelief and then dawning crossed his face. "It holds two liters and was nearly full when you took your little side trip. If we…"

John grinned as he continued the train of thought , "You know women and alcohol…"

"Oh, that should work."

Carson couldn't believe what was going on between the two other men. It was frightening to see them actually completing each other's sentences. "What?"

Two sets of eyes pinned him and he shifted back a step. Something inside him warned that he should be afraid.

John merely grinned lopsidedly, "You're going to get her drunk."

TBC

A/N A bit short, I know. More to come tomorrow. Take care and Happy New Year.


	8. Chapter 8: White Lightning

A/N I apologize for the delays this past week but getting over the flu has been a bit of a bugger and all I want to do is sleep. Thank you for all of the great reviews and encouraging notes. You really do make putting this together a lot more fun!

Oh, one more thing. A few of you commented on Beckett sleeping. I've tried to show some passage of time without looking at a watch. Between Sheppard launching himself off Atlantis and now, we've gone from approximately 9:00 pm (sunset) until 4:00 am.

Chapter 8: White Lightning

"You want me to do what?" Beckett glanced back and forth between the two men, trying to decide if they were really serious. When Sheppard pulled a blanket tighter about his shoulders and McKay leaned against the bulkhead without supplying any input, the doctor began to worry. They really were serious.

"Gentlemen, I don't know what you are thinkin', but I must tell you I don't have a lot of experience in gettin' people inebriated. Most of my work comes during the after effects."

"Doc, we're not asking you to take her out on a date," John interjected but stopped when Carson folded his arms and glared. "We just need to know how it might be possible to make an octopus drunk."

"Major, I don't recall that bein' a chapter my professors taught during my training. I can just picture my questioning of the astute Dr. Klinislip, "Excuse me, Doctor, when inebriatin' an octopus, do you suppose I should use 50 or 90 proof alcohol?" Carson turned to argue with McKay but stopped, recognizing the look on the scientists face. Rodney was formulating a plan.

He stood staring at a small hatch on the ceiling while mumbling to himself, his fingers typing out some unknown computer order on an imaginary keyboard. A sudden shift in thought turned his attention to the cargo bay and he stood staring at the go cart, finger tips now tapping against one another. Completely ignoring his now silent companions, he picked up his laptop and hooked it into the console. With a few moments of swift strokes to the keyboard, he was able to deactivate the now repaired inner shield.

"McKay?" Sheppard remained seated, wrapped in his blanket, watching the scientist begin to collect empty water bottles from the floor. "Care to let us in on what you're doing?"

Rodney stopped, eyed up the major, and then turned and handed the bottles to Beckett. "Here. Drain the fuel from gas tank into these. If any water did leak in, it will have settled on the bottom so make sure to collect from the top."

When Carson remained still holding the bottles, the scientist huffed, "What?"

"Well now, just how do you suppose I do that?"

Quickly scanning the interior of the sub, McKay's eyes came to rest on the rear cargo door. Removing the cover, he reached inside, carefully examining the contents. Apparently satisfied with whatever it was he was doing, he pulled out his pocketknife and cut a thin piece of black tubing type material approximately two feet long. Once removed from the panel, he blew through the tube, spraying a yellowish substance on to the floor. When the tube finally appeared to be empty, he handed it to the doctor. "Use this," he directed before beginning work on the overhead hatch.

Beckett held the tube like he was holding a snake. A quick glance over to Sheppard told him that the major was beginning to understand what the crazed scientist was up to.

"That's from the hydraulics of the door," John informed him. "Put one end in the tank and suck the air out until the fuel comes through."

"I know how a siphon works, Major," Beckett snapped. When Sheppard shifted in his seat to come and help him, the doctor stopped him with a glare. "You stay put before you fall over. McKay and I can do this." With set determination he unscrewed the cap, stuck in the hose, and drew the liquid out. The foul burning fluid brought tears to his eyes and made him choke. "Good lord, Rodney. What'd you make that out of?" he gasped.

McKay looked up distractedly from his laptop, before a grin broke out over his features at Carson's watering eyes. He shot a look over at Sheppard who was also waiting to see what he used, and shrugged innocently. "The pink peach fruit things that the Athosians brought back from the mainland."

"I thought they all went bad."

"Well, not bad exactly. I discovered that they had an extremely high sugar content and fermented easily."

Sheppard grinned. "You figured, you might as well put them through the still. How strong is the alcohol content?"

McKay's eyes twinkled with mischief, "I never really tested it but I did drink a taste and I'm surprised Carson's still standing."

The major slapped his hand over his mouth to stop his laughter while watching Carson sink to his butt on the floor. The Scottish doctor appeared a bit flushed.

"Rodney McKay," Beckett slurred angrily, "you never said anything about a still."

Rodney made his way back over to Beckett and took the remaining bottle from the physician's hands before it got spilled. Once a lid was twisted securely on, he reached out his hand and helped Carson stand. "I didn't get hurt, merely incapacitated for a bit. Nothing to worry about though, it wears off relatively quickly."

Once the physician was settled in the chair opposite the major, McKay returned to his project. Opening the hatch on the ceiling, he examined the contents and then swore under his breath.

"What's wrong, McKay?"

"According to the schematics, this should be an exterior access panel…but it's not!" Slamming the panel shut, he folded his arms and began pacing in frustration. "How am I going to get the alcohol into that thing if I can't reach it?"

"Pildge bump," Beckett hiccupped.

Sheppard and McKay stared at Carson a moment, watching his eyes close in sleep, before they both realized the man meant to say 'bilge pump'.

"How long were you out, McKay, when you drank some of that moonshine of yours?"

Rodney rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he calculated. "Couple hours…I think."

The major scrubbed his face with his blanketed hands, blinking tiredly. "Do you think you can take care of the pumps without his assistance? Because I have to be honest with you, I feel like crap and I don't think I'm going to be much help."

Rodney glanced over at Carson and then back to Sheppard. "Not a problem. When you wake up, I'll have us back on Atlantis before Weir even notices that we left."

SG:A

Once again the soft sound of snoring permeated the silence inside the 'McKay.'

Rodney began moving items around so that he could access the bilge pumps underneath the floor grate in the rear section. He'd discovered that the cart took up too much room and he was only able to shove it half way off the access panel. Propping the heavy grate partially open with a tire he'd removed from the cart, he squeezed his upper torso down below the floor, working his way tightly into the small space.

He was able to locate the small pump and tested the automatic sensor by pouring a small amount of regular bottled water over it. The device kicked on perfectly, removing all moisture from the floor. Rodney was impressed. If he could take this back to Earth he would make a small fortune. He'd never seen a bilge work so efficiently.

Reaching blindly back behind himself, he felt around the floor locating the bottles that Beckett had filled, and brought them into the enclosed space one at a time. "I hope you're a nice drunk," he mumbled, before holding his breath, and began to pour. Seconds later the pumps automatically kicked on and flushed the alcohol out of the ship.

The creature's reaction was almost immediate. The 'McKay' listed violently to one side, shifting the cart hard on to the propped open grate. The tire holding it open slipped and the heavy grate slammed down upon Rodney's vulnerable lower back. His cry of agony was muffled by his awkward position.

Gasping for breath, he used his forearms to push up and hopefully dislodge the cart. Pain ripped across his chest as well as his back and legs. Darkness began to encroach on the edge of his vision from the lack of oxygen because his pinned chest prevented his lungs from filling.

His hands flopped uselessly onto the floor of the crawl space as his body gave in to the horrific throbbing and he blacked out, never feeling the trickle of cold water upon his fingers.

TBC

A/N Cliffy? Oh yeah, but it's not my fault!!! OXBastetXO gave me the idea, blame her!


	9. Chapter 9: I Want to Go Home

Chapter 9: I Want to Go Home (updated from original post)

The abrupt jarring tilt of the 'McKay' tossed Sheppard and Beckett's bodies harshly out of their seats, landing the startled men in a heap of arms and legs entangled against the hull.

Carson was the first to sit up, rubbing his pounding head while gazing cautiously about. "What the bloody hell happened?" When the major didn't respond, the physician carefully placed his hand under John's neck and rolled him over onto his back. With a clear view of his friend's face,he spied a red welt rapidly forming above the major's right brow. "Come on, Major," he encouraged; peeling back closed eyelids and feeling relief when the pupils reacted to light.

With nothing more he could do to help Sheppard, hepulled himself up on his knees and surveyed the disarray inside the sub. Where was McKay? "Rodney?" he called out before grabbing his temples as a new wave of pounding surfaced. "Rodney, I need your help with the Major."

Not receiving any reply, the hung over physician dragged himself to his feet and made his way cautiously towards the back. The lights briefly flickered off before the emergency backups kicked on, casting an eerie yellow glow throughout the ship.

Shoving a loose tire from the cart out of his way, he stumbled into the vehicle and cursed loudly. "McKay, where in the bloody hell are you?" His outburst was rewarded with another wave of pain between his eyes and he clamped them shut, riding out his distress. "Why doesn't someone just shoot me and put me out of my misery?" he mumbled. Blindly taking another step, he stumbled and fell to the floor.

Rolling over onto his back, he reached out with his right hand and grasped about for something solid to get a grip on, only to be startled when he felt a leg. Hangover or not, he blinked his eyes open and sat up, discovering Rodney's pinned form beside him half beneath the grate. "Oh, dear Lord," he gasped.

Not sure how he was going to move the tipped cart on the tilted floor, Carson laid flat on his stomach and wormed his way next to the scientist, reaching as far as possible beneath the grate. He was able to touch Rodney's neck, finding a weak rapid pulse. Next he placed his hand as close as he could to the pinned man's chest, checking his respirations and finding them shallow and distressed.

Carson worked his way back out to study the position of the cart. It had to be moved. Gripping the steering wheel with his right hand, he placed his left shoulder under the front end and heaved with all his strength, tipping the cart back onto the rear wheels before propping it against the hull.

Headache completely forgotten, he was now able to push the heavy grate back open and used it as a wedge to stop the cart from shifting.

Rodney didn't move or make a sound while the doctor worked around him.

Dropping down to his knees, the physician pulled the scientist's shirt free and examined the large bruise covering his lower back. Gently probing the area and surrounding tissue, he was relieved to not find any rigidity. Thank God for small favors. Leaning back into the small space beside his still friend,Carson tried to get a closer look at any other injuries. "Rodney, lad, can you hear me?"

Surprisingly, the scientist gave a small moan.

"Good Rodney. I know you're hurtin' but I can't help you until you answer me." Not receiving a response, Carson continued. "Rodney, I need to know if you can move your feet even a little. Do you think you do that for me?"

Carson heard another small moan and then felt a tightening of Rodney's calf muscles as he slightly flexed his left foot and then his right. "You're doin' good, lad. I'll have you out of there in a wee bit, just hold on."

Quickly clearing the surrounding area of loose materials, the physician located one of Sheppard's blankets from earlier and spread it out on the floor. Next he straddled Rodney's back and reached down, grasping his friend beneath the armpits. "I'm not going to lie to you, Rodney, this is really going to hurt. I don't have a backboard or personnel to help, so please forgive me for what I'm about to do." Closing his eyes and saying a quick prayer thatthe physicist's spine wasn't damaged, Carson lifted him out of the small space and carefully placed the injured man on his back.

Now able to get his first good look at McKay, he took in the scientist's tightly clenched eyelids and white face. Small beads of perspiration dottedthe man's forehead and his hands were drawn in fists so tight that his knuckles hadn't any color.

Carson reached down to pry Rodney's fingers loose from theirbloodless grip and was shocked to find the scientist's hands cold and wet. Quickly peering back into the tight crawl space, he spied a small pool of water that appeared to be moving slowly.

Realizing the possibility that they had sprung a leak, he became instantly concerned because that would mean the outer shield was down. Leaning once again over his friend, he continued his examination in silence, not wanting to voice his alarm. When completed, he bundled Rodney in the blanket before making his way back over to the Major.

Sheppard hadn't moved from where Carson had left him. Gently patting the unconscious man on the face, the doctor tried to rouse his other friend. "Come on now, Major. I really need your help with Rodney. He's been hurt badly and I think we're taking on water."

The major appeared to latch on to Beckett's words and drag himself back from the murky depths, to return to consciousness. Hid eye lids fluttered open after a minute or so of trying before focusing on the doctor. "What happened?" he whispered softly.

"I'm not quite sure, lad. How are you feelin'?"

"Headache," Sheppard mumbled, his eyes slipping closed again.

Carson hated doing it but he patted Sheppard's face once more, not letting the man sleep. "You have to stay awake, Major. Open your eyes."

With a grunt, John squinted. "Help me sit up," he instructed. Finding himself vertical once more, he gasped as a wave of naseau hit; leaving him breathless until it passed. Finally acclimated to being upright, he cautiously looked about and spied McKay lying on the floor. "Is he alright?"

The physician shook his head 'no'. "He needs to be back in the infirmary. I know you're not feelin' very well Major, but I need your help to pilot the ship back. Do you think you can do that?"

Sheppard nodded slowly. "You're going to have to help me, Doc." Taking a deep breath, he allowed Carson to pull him up to his feet and then hold him steady a moment until he got his legs back under him. Weaving precariously sideways, he eventually made his way to the pilot's seat and sat down heavily. A tap on the shoulder made him realize that he'd closed his eyes once more.

"How many fingers am I holdn' up, Major?"

"Three?"

"Try, one," the Scottsman replied. "All you need to do is sit there and tell me what to do to get us back. Do you think you can do that?"

Sheppard nodded slowly a second time before opening one eye, trying to read the schematics displayed on the console. He dropped his hand on the board and concentrated, bringing up the outer image of the ship to make sure the creature was gone. Licking his lips, he sighed and tipped his head back. "We need to get the power back up."

Carson sat stiffly in the copilot seat, "Tell me what to do."

TBC

A/N I couldn't leave the guys that way. This only has a couple of chapters left.


	10. Chapter 10: Up, Up, Up, I Can Only Go Up...

Chapter 10: Up, Up, Up, I Can Only Go Up From Here

"Are you sure about this, Doc?" Sheppard knew he wasn't in the best of shape at the moment but he could clearly make out the hesitancy in the doctor's voice.

"Well, if you have any other option, I'd be willin' to listen. But, since Rodney's down, you're a bloody wreck, and I'm the only person left, I don't believe there are a lot of choices available."

"Alright then, let's see if we can get this baby's power back up and running."

"The sooner the better," Carson said under his breath, casting a quick glance back in Rodney's direction.

The major didn't miss the remark and followed the doctor's glance. "He's going to be okay, right?"

"The sooner we get back, the more I'll know."

Something about Carson's demeanor set off the major's warning bells. "What aren't you telling me, doc?"

Carson fidgeted in his seat, "I think we sprang a leak."

"What!?" A fierce pounding pain flooded his head and he clenched his eyes shut, holding his breath to ride it out. Feeling Carson's hands on his temple, massaging the pain away, he was able to relax minutely, before remembering what set him off. "What leak?" he said a bit quieter this time.

"When I pulled Rodney free from under the grate, I discovered that we appeared to be takin' on a small amount of water. I don't believe the bilge pumps or shields are online, are they?"

Sheppard swallowed dryly before cracking an eye open to study the control console; he was still seeing at least two of everything. "Any other problem I should know about?"

Carson returned to his seat and stared out the window. "Not that I know of."

"Doc, McKay's fuel really knocked you for a loop. Are…?" The remainder of his question stopped when the physician abruptly shifted in his direction.

"Major, if you don't mind, I'm really not in the mood to discuss what happened at the moment."

"I wasn't implying anything; I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Carson glanced back out the window, feeling the effects of the headache he'd so diligently been trying to ignore. "It's not like I haven't ever had a visit or two to a pub before, but I've never gotten drunk on a swallow."

"I doubt you were ever drinking alien moonshine."

"True." Shifting in his seat, Carson took a deep breath before hesitantly resting his hands on the console. "I'm ready, Major. Tell me what to do."

SG:A

It took several tries and Sheppard's one-eyed patience before the doctor was able to reactivate the systems back on board the 'McKay'. When the bright interior lights returned to normal, kicking off the yellow backups, all three men groaned in discomfort.

"How long do you think it will take us to get back to Atlantis?" Carson questioned, squinting over to the Sheppard who now had both eyes closed.

"Barring anymore trouble with the sea life, I'd say half hour tops."

"Do you think she's gone?"

"Let's hope so. I think one pissed off woman is enough for one day and we're not talking Weir."

"Aye. How are we gonna get around her?"

"I'll think of something."

"It had better be good, lad, because after Elizabeth finds out what's happened, she's gonna make that thing we ran in to look like a guppy."

The major didn't reply, sinking down in his seat and tipping his head forward to rest on his chest. His head was throbbing, his muscles ached, and he really wanted to throw up. A loud groan from behind him made him sit back up too quickly; Rodney was moving.

The doctor's hand dropped on his shoulder, keeping him in the seat. "I got him Major; you just stay put and hold the sub on course." Seeing Sheppard resume his one-eyed squint out the front, Carson carefully made his way back to help the physicist.

Rodney had curled onto his side, wrapping his arms tightly across his middle. When the Scotsman's hand brushed against his forehead, he glanced up and startled the doctor.

"You're awake," Carson said with a pleased smile.

"Not by choice," Rodney whispered. "Thirsty," he rasped.

"I know you are, lad, but I can't give you anything until I make sure you don't have any internal injuries." Adjusting the blanket over his friend, Carson tried to make Rodney more comfortable. "We're not far from home. Just a wee bit longer."

A small nod was his only answer until the scientist opened one eye and looked to him once more. "What is it, lad?"

"You look like hell. What happn'd?"

"What happened? Your moonshine's what happened." Trying to look annoyed, Carson glared, "We're gonna have a long talk about your extracurricular activities once your up and about."

Rodney chuckled softly before a bout of coughing forced him to curl even tighter, groaning from the pain in his front and back. "I never thought I'd say this," he gasped, closing his eyes, "but I really wish we were back in the infirmary."

"I know, lad, I know. I have to help the major get the sub back to Atlantis, are you gonna be alright for a moment?"

Another small nod and this time the scientist's eyes remained closed.

Carson patted Rodney on the shoulder before returning to the front.

"How is he?" Sheppard asked, watching the doctor sit and take back the controls.

"He's awake and hurtin'."

Both men remained silent for several moments, realizing that no matter how miserable they both were feeling…Rodney was worse.

"I was wonderin', Major, why we haven't heard from Atlantis while we've been gone."

"McKay disabled a few systems before we left so no one would notice us gone." Running his hand through his dark hair, Sheppard glanced down at his watch, "I think the morning shift should be noticing the sub missing right about now."

It was only a matter of minutes before the communications came alive on board the small vessel. _"This is Atlantis calling the McKay. Come in McKay."_

The English accent was unmistakable as Carson glanced over to Sheppard. "Grodin?'

"Yeah. And if he's at the comm station, that mean's Weir isn't too far behind."

The Scotsman shook his head slowly, "We're dead men, you do know that don't you, Major?"

"Maybe, since we're all sick or wounded, she'll take pity on us."

"And, maybe there'll be a ZPM up and running, ready to take us back to Earth when we dock this thing."

"Point taken, Doctor." With an unhappy sigh, Sheppard slid back down in his seat. "I don't feel well."

It might have been the Major's tone or just Carson's instincts, but something told him all was not well in the captain's seat. Casting a quick glance over, he was just in time to see the young officer lose his dinner all over the floor.

"Oh, bloody hell."

SG:A

"_McKay, this is Atlantis, please respond."_

It took Carson a minute to think of how to answer and he wasn't really interested in having someone yell at him with the way his head was still feeling. Watching the looming underside of the station grow immensely closer, he closed his eyes, said a quick prayer, and returned the hail. "This is the McKay."

"_Dr. Beckett?" _Grodin sounded astounded.

"Aye, lad." This late in the game, the physician could care less about radio protocol.

"_Carson, is McKay and Sheppard with you?" _Weir's voice snapped over the intercom.

'The major was correct,' he thought. 'She must be right beside Grodin. Aye, we're dead men. Suck it up, lad,' he rebuked himself, 'She's not gonna suck the life out of you like a wraith…just make your remaining days on Atlantis a living…'

"Yes, Dr. Weir. I'm gonna need a medical team ready when we come in."

"_Understood. They're already here waiting."_

Carson guided the sub towards the lit bay, carefully aiming so that he didn't slam into the side of Atlantis. When the ship passed easily through the entranceway, he allowed himself a second to congratulate himself for actually bringing them all back alive…and then remembered that Sheppard hadn't told him how to stop. The McKay slammed into one of the remaining parked submersibles with a sickening crunch, before coming to a halt.

Peeling himself off the console, the exhausted physician made his way over to the side door of the McKay and pressed the panel. With a 'whoosh' the small door remarkably opened and he stepped back to allow the others to enter, not at all surprised to see Weir first.

"Doctor, you'd better have a good…" her comment never finished as the Scotsman collapsed at her feet. "Ah, hell."

TBC

A/N One chapter to go… The guys face the music, so to speak!


	11. Chapter 11: If Looks Could Kill

Chapter 11: If Looks Could Kill

Elizabeth stood on the observation deck overlooking the jumper bay as Jumper 2 made its reappearance from its latest voyage. The 'whoosh' of the Stargate closing had become a familiar sound to her and she enjoyed just standing and watching the team file out of the small space craft…unharmed. 'Why was it Stackhouse and Ford usually came back unscathed, but if she even thought of Sheppard and McKay going out, she had better be ready with a med team on standby the entire mission?'

The thought of her two senior team members brought a hint of a smile to her face. Apparently, they had done it again, only this time Dr. Beckett had found himself a participant in their latest quest, joining the troublesome twosome in valuable time spent in the infirmary.

It had been a week since the McKay had returned and the trio quietly rejoined their stations after separate releases from the medical facility. John had suffered from exposure and a mild concussion. Carson had come in contact with a foreign substance that mimicked the signs of an acute hangover. And, Rodney, bruised but not broken fortunately, suffered soft tissue damage that would take the longest to recover from.

Returning to her desk, she tapped the laptop keyboard, bringing up copies of all three incident reports. Remarkable. Each man gave a full account of the misuse of the submersible while accepting complete blame on himself, diverting attention away from the others. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought that they might be covering up a few details.

A sly smile crinkled the corners of her eyes. She would give them until tomorrow before confronting the trio together. As far as she knew, there was nothing worse to a man than being in trouble with a woman and receiving the silent treatment. It only made their expectations of the confrontation to come that much more imaginative. And right now, she was in the mood to be creative.

SG:A

What had once been Rodney's private getaway had evolved during the past few days into a retreat of sorts for all three men. Beckett had created a small lab off in one corner, Sheppard cleared a spot to rip the go cart apart and rebuild it, and McKay maintained his cluttered workbench and piles of useless junk.

It had taken the major and physician an entire afternoon to clean up the hanger bay while the physicist was forced to sit on the sidelines and supervise, much to his chagrin, as the others rearranged his mess, throwing out trash he claimed he needed. When they had completed, he admitted begrudgingly, it did look better but refused to commit to keeping it neat.

Although completely engrossed in their separate projects, they each had one common concern raging in their minds.

Sheppard was the first to break the silence. "So, she hasn't said anything to either of you?"

"Nay, lad, not a peep."

"McKay?"

Rodney turned on his stool to face the others, knocking a piece of his project to the floor with his elbow. "No," he groaned, bending down to retrieve the object, only to be halted by Carson's hand on his arm and the major picking up the piece and setting it on the table. "I could have got it," he protested.

"Aye, but this way we don't have to listen to you moanin' like an old man," Carson replied with a wink to Sheppard.

"Yeah, McKay, we're here to help." Sheppard didn't miss the brief glare from the physicist. "What?"

"If it wasn't for your help, we wouldn't be waiting like chickens at the stump wondering when the axe will fall."

"Oh, that's just bloody gruesome, Rodney."

"Yeah, nice visual there, Dr. Gloom. What do you mean my fault?"

"You're the one who got us in this mess. If you'd stayed out on the platform sunning yourself, we never would have gotten in this situation." Rodney closed his eyes, riding out the spasm in his chest muscles. He didn't mean to be nasty with the major and realized he'd made a mistake the minute the words left his mouth. "Sorry," he mumbled.

The major stared at the bowed head in front of him, taking in scientist's pained demeanor. "No, you're right, McKay. I'm sorry."

Carson shifted on his feet, knowing he needed to stop this before it went any farther. "What do you say we go to the cafeteria and get somethin' to eat?" Placing his hand on Rodney's shoulder, he gave a small squeeze, "That way you can take your pain meds before goin' to bed."

"I'm not tired," Rodney replied petulantly, glancing back and forth between the two men in front of him.

"Aye, lad," Carson smiled, "but you will be once the muscle relaxants kick in."

"Human jello, McKay."

Rodney couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. "Watch me wiggle…" he started as Sheppard and Beckett helped him stand and waited while his stiff muscles eased up.

"See him jiggle," they sang, making their way out the door.

SG:A

The following morning, the trio converged on the upper balcony after breakfast to enjoy the warm sun. They had started this ritual after each had been released from the infirmary following their underwater fiasco. With a bit of ingenuity and some refurbished litters, they had been able to create three deck chairs using the aluminum frames and canvas material.

Carson stretched like a cat in a sunbeam before squinting over to Rodney, "How are you feelin' this mornin', lad?"

"Pretty good, actually."

Sheppard glanced over, taking in the physicist's appearance, "When do you start back?"

Rodney closed his eyes, turning his face to the sun, "Next week. You two?"

"Today," they replied together.

"Oh, that's too bad," he said quietly, with a smug smile.

"McKay." Sheppard sat up and poked the scientist on the arm, "You will refrain from driving the cart by yourself."

Rodney's mouth opened to protest but snapped shut. "I couldn't even if I wanted to. We're out of fuel until I can make some more."

"Speakin' of fuel," Carson sat up and poked Rodney on the other arm, "I did some tests on that concoction of yours. Do you have any idea what I might have learned?"

"No, but I have the feeling that you're about to tell me."

"The fruit you used contains a natural narcotic substance that when distilled, magnifies in potency 100 percent. Combined with 180 proof alcohol and possible toxins from the hydraulic fluid, you could have bloody killed me!"

Rodney sat up carefully, wrapping his arms around his middle, and glared at Carson. "I didn't tell you to drink it!"

"Gentlemen, am I interrupting?" Weir's voice spoke softly from behind the trio.

The three men froze like deer in the headlights.

Elizabeth allowed herself a slight smile before hardening her features, making her way to stand in front of the seated individuals. When Sheppard made motion that he was about to stand, she glared at him and he remained seated. Folding her arms across he chest, she remained quiet, studying each man. "I believe that there's a problem with communication on board Atlantis. Not only does it exist in the structure, but also in the vocabulary, as well as the technology."

"Let's begin with vocabulary. If I was to ask you to define 'leave', and I'm not, I would imagine that you would describe a temporary absence from duties. But for one to have absence from duties, one must be part of a 'structure' that is in place, where there is a higher and lower chain of command. Last time I checked, I was at the top." She shifted slightly giving Sheppard the raised brow.

The major felt a twitch forming in the back of his neck but remained sitting still.

Elizabeth's focus shifted to Rodney. "Then of course there's always technology. Technology so advanced that we can't use it for our own pleasure because it may be harmful if we say 'shut it off'. Early detection systems, communication systems, and surveillance technologies that are imperative to the well being of every, did you hear me, every individual onboard this station."

The scientist stared at his feet, waiting for a hole to open up and swallow him.

"And then there's personal accountability. Even if there wasn't a problem in communication, accountability for the health and well being of all participants is incurred to those specifically trained. To those entrusted with this position, a certain responsibility is expected."

The physician felt his face warm, knowing she was staring directly at him.

Bringing her hands beside her, Elizabeth leaned back against the railing. "Gentlemen, I respect the friendship that you have carved out but I cannot allow you to use Atlantis as your personal playground. There are rules to follow. And the three of you are to be leaders and examples for the rest to follow. With leadership comes responsibility and you must take responsibility for your recent actions."

Three sets of eyes focused on her, waiting for their punishment. "You will repair the McKay. You will also be confined to Atlantis for the period of one week. Gentlemen, if another instance should come to my attention, you will be demoted to my second team. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," they replied in unison, properly chastised.

"Good. Major Sheppard, Dr. Beckett, I believe it is time for you to report on duty. Dr. McKay, I expect you to rest and be ready to return to duty when you're cleared. Good day." And with that, she disappeared back through the doorway.

Beckett, Sheppard, and McKay remained silent a moment before they grinned and glanced at each other's backsides.

"Is it gone?" Rodney breathed.

"Sheared clean off." The major stood up, cracked his neck, and rocked on his heels.

"I don't think I've had such a scoldin' since my mother caught me spyin' on the pretty girls next door when I was grown' up. Are we sure Elizabeth isn't Scottish?"

The smile on Sheppard's face grew larger as he helped Rodney stand. "Spying on girls? Is that why you became a doctor?"

Carson grimaced, "Not everythin' I see is attractive."

Heading back inside Atlantis, Rodney paused a moment to give the doctor a smirk. "So, you're saying you 'do' look?"

"I'm not a bloody blind man, if that's what you're askin'."

Their voices faded down the hallway as Elizabeth stepped out from the shadows shaking her head. She would have to keep her on eye those three.

The End!

A/N Done! Holding hands up in the air away from the keyboard.

First off, I'd like to thank you for all of the reviews, comments, pointing out of errors, and way funny suggestions. (Some of you should really seek professional help! LOL) Overall, I wanted this to stay light hearted with just a bit of whumpin' thrown in to appease all. Personally, I laughed and snorted my way through this just picturing the looks on all the character faces as they overcame each obstacle that befell them.

Can't you just see the disgust on Weir's face when the McKay opens and the heat and smell of vomit escapes, Carson appears looking as if he'd spent the night in a bar and then drops on her feet, and the sub is trashed inside? (I can see her raised brow and small sneer, eyes a blazin'!)

Finally, this couldn't go on any longer because I couldn't think of any more bloody song titles! Think it's easy…you try it! Take Care! Jen


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